I’ve waited for high school to come around for as long as I can remember. “IT’S FINALLY HERE!” says my best friend Taylor. She is fifteen, has long, dirty blonde hair and is kind of chubby. We have known each other for a little over four months now. Hi, my name is Patti, and I’m fifteen, with long brown hair, with an average sized body. “I can’t believe it, Taylor, middle school went by so fast.”

       I didn’t have much of a middle school year. My mom took me out of public school in the seventh grade and tried to home school me. That didn’t work out at all. So, here I am, with a crappy grade point average, and the possibility of being a high school drop out like my mom.

      “Let me see your schedule,” Taylor said, while trying to grab my paper full of my classes. I handed her my paper and she skimmed through it. “Well?” I said, fearing that we didn’t have any classes together. “We got P.E third period together and that’s it, beside lunch.” I just sat there with this puzzled look on my face for a few moments until she smacked me with her backpack. “Come on, the bell rang. We need to get to class.”          

       The first day was great. Loved it. As the months went by Taylor and I discovered something we thought was cool. The sophomores, juniors and seniors call it “SKIPPING.” “We should try it,” said Taylor. “I don’t know. Taylor.” I never really liked the idea of skipping. I just know that we will get caught. Not only that, but caught by Jeff. He is in his late thirties, with short, brown hair and kind of short. Okay, I lied. He is really short. Taylor and I couldn’t help but laugh when we saw him. We did skip, but didn’t get caught. As it continued, it just got even more fun then the last time we skipped. I guess it gives you this adrenalin rush that makes you feel so exotic. 

        Taylor and I have Health together. Our grades are terrible. Mrs. Armenta, who is our health teacher, doesn’t like us very much, and we aren’t too fond of her, either. She is really tall, with short, almost reddish brownish hair. Taylor feels like when you look at her you would turn into stone. 

 Now here she is handing out grade reports, staring at us like Medussa. “Holy Shit!” Taylor’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head. “My mother is going to kick my ass to Timbuck two.” I never really understood that saying, but whatever. “Wow, my grades aren’t so hot, either.” My face turned into this pale white color, because I knew what was going to happen if my dad saw that big fat ‘F’ on my grade report. “Taylor, we need to do something to fixed this.” “YEAH!” said Taylor with her mouth wide open to were it looked like it was going to touch the floor.

        Mrs. Armenta was in her office getting ready to leave. Taylor and I ran up to her and asked her if we could do anything to fix our grades before they are sent out. “Now you guys want my help. All you two did was cause me trouble.” “ Please, look, I have an idea.” I said. Taylors face had this worried look. “Really, I do. We could make a health video for the class.” Mrs. Armenta sat there thinking. “ You know what? That doesn’t sound bad. Okay, I’ll give you guys till the end of the week. It’s Monday. You’ll have plenty of time.” Taylor’s face glowed with relief.

         While we were on the bus, we just sat there trying to think of how we were going to pull this off. We came to Taylor’s stop, got off the bus and started walking to her house. She lived in really old military apartments, painted ugly deep green. They looked haunted from a distance and close up.

         “ How are we going to do this Patti?” “ I’m not sure Taylor.” The week went by fast. It was already Thursday. “PATTI!” Taylor’s face look shocked. “ We forgot about the health video.” Her and I looked through the health book. “Lets do the most important things.” I said.

        We started with our opening title. It started out, OUT OF OUR MIND PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS… The health video.  It was a blast! By the time we were done it was 3:00am. “Wow, I’m so tired.” said Taylor, about to pass out on the computer desk. “Me, too.” I said, playing with the camera. Taylor just laughed. I was putting the camera in my mouth, then I would put it close to my eyes with the little light camera on. I was saying, “I have stars in my eyes.”

      We got to school and gave the video to the teacher. I got called out right when she was going to show it to the class. “Can I sit in the hallway while you show it to the class?” Taylor said, with her face as red as a hot chili pepper. Taylor sat on the dirty stairs. I was walking back to class and saw her. The look that she had on her face was so unbearable that I couldn’t help but chuckle “Hey what’s up?” “Nothing. She is showing that health video to the class.”

        Mrs. Armenta came outside. She told us to come back to class. Her face looked a little weird, like she was embarrassed by the video that we thought was hysterical. Taylor pushed me in first, then she followed behind me. Everyone started clapping and laughing at the same time. “Great video you two.” Mrs. Armenta said, with this big, bright reassuring smile. We ended up getting an ‘A’ in the class. 

I believe that in many ways having a baby can make your life better, interesting and worth living. I have a one-year-old daughter and she has made my life an adventure. 

Amy Madison Withrow was born March 7, 2009. I was sixteen, scared, and didn’t know what to expect from this little person that was growing inside me. When I held Amy for the first time, I could feel her innocence and her little heartbeat. She looked up at me with her beautiful eyes; it was like she knew that everything was going to be okay. Tears started to stream down my face. They weren’t sad tears, but were blissful tears. I knew just by holding her in my arms that my life was just getting started. 

Three months went by, and motherhood was getting better. It was a beautiful day. No clouds in the sky, the birds out singing. Jess Jr. Kevin and Jessica my two little brothers and sister wanted to go outside to pick apples off the hopeless apple tree just dangling in our back yard. My mother grabbed Amy and we all went outside.   Picking fruit was so fun with the family. I looked over and saw the most beautiful one of them all and I wanted it. My mom handed me a plastic black chair. It broke, but I got it. We all hurried inside to cut it up. The apple was so juicy that it made my mouth water. Amy had some of the apple. Her eyes opened so big when it hit her little red tongue.

Later that day Amy was sitting in her pink flowered covered bouncy chair that she love to play in. Out of nowhere she starts to suck on her upper and lower lip. Some of the juice from the apple must have been on her lips. For five minutes she was making the funniest noises. The way she was puckered up made her look like a fish. I started laughed so hard that my face turned purple.

  I couldn’t ask for more from god but to keep her in my life. I love her so much.

There was other time when Micheil took us to the beach. 

It was a hot beautiful day in Springfield Oregon. Micheil, Amy and I were in the room watching a family movie. Micheil’s family members were in town for a couple of days. Then out of nowhere, they wanted to go to the coast in Florence. We only had five minutes to get ready. Marcia and the rest of the family took Amy and went to Jack In The Box while Micheil and I ran to the store to get Amy some clothes for the trip.

The ride was amazing, beautiful, and exotic. I could see the snow on top of the mountains, the grass so green, and the sky as clear as the ocean. The first stop was at the Sea Lion Caves! Going to the cave was fun, but very windy. Poor Amy had to stay in her stroller because if we were to take her out she would fly away. We got to the cave and boy it was stinky! It smelled like rotten eggs. Amy loved the sea loins. I did, too It started to get late.

We all left and headed to the beach. It was so windy and the water was so cold. Micheil held Amy in his arms and held my hand while we walked on the beach watching the sunset. Amy wanted down so she could play. Poor thing, the wind was so strong that it kept trying to blow her away. That didn’t stop her from having a good time. She played in the water and watched as the cold water washed up on her little feet, sand in between her toes, and the wind through her dark hair. The sun was hitting her just right for that perfect picture. It was close to 7:00pm when we all decided that it was time to go home. Micheil wrapped Amy up in her blanket, put her in the car and we went home.

These are my own personal stories that I have had with my daughter. This is why I believe that in many ways having a baby can make your life better, interesting and worth living. 

Today I waited for him to come out of his first period class. Than I realized that he isn’t coming out of that class. He will never again walk out of that classroom, to walk outside to smoke his camel wide. My heart has fallen to pieces when I remembered that I wont see his smile, his beautiful colored eyes.

My heart aches with pain knowing that I couldn’t do anything to stop what he was going through. I kept telling him that I will always be there for him no matter what happened. He told me to just worry about Amy and myself but how could I do that when I loved him so much. He said that he could take care of himself. All I wanted to do was keep him from going away, from leaving my arms, from leaving me.

I asked him if what he did was worth it. He told me, “No, it wasn’t worth it this time because it makes you cry and I cant stand to see you like that.” Then I asked him why he loved me. He replied saying, “ I love you because of the way you look at me and how you respect me for who I am.

I told him that I wanted to do so much more to help him get through this. “ Just be there for me when I get out, that’s all I want.” He said to me.

He has built this wall so he doesn’t get hurt again. I mean about falling in love. He was in love once, she was the world to him. She left him right before he went to jail. Broke his heart. I sat on my bed and I thought, it makes so much sense now. He broke up with me just a few weeks after we started to say “I love you” to one another. He was scared of getting hurt again.

I asked him if he loved me. He said yes. I asked him if I broke down that wall that he built to keep love out. He said, “You didn’t break it down the wall, you just found a different way in.”

I love this man so much. He is the other half to my heart. With him being gone it feels like that other half of my heart is missing.

He made me smile when I looked at him I couldn’t help it but, when he told me that he was turning himself in Tuesday morning, It broke my heart. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. I just couldn’t get the words to make sense in my head. I sat next to him. He held me close, told me that he loved me, wiped the tears coming down my face and said that he will always be there for me. We just continued holding each other till it was time for me to go home. I held him closer to my chest and told him when he is around my heart pumps faster. I look up to see the bus coming.

“ I didn’t want you to go, I wanted you to continue holding me, I didn’t want our lips to part when they did.”

Just remember, I will be there outside the jail when you get out awaiting for our lips to touch together again, awaiting your arms to wrap around me and to never let go again.

I love you

     Love: Patti Renee’ Withrow

When I went here to Gateways High School last year I didn’t know what a good friend was until I met them. They make me laugh, when I cry, they comfort me, when I am mad, they hear me out, when I’m sad, they cheer me up. They are always there for me when I need them. I’m always there for them. I…

It was 12:00am, the night was cold, rainy, and very cloudy outside. My mom and I were sitting on the couch watching Dancing with the stars. My mom had gotten a great workout just by watching super mom Kate plus eight trying to dance but looked like she had a board preventing her from swaying her body. She looked like a robot. After four minutes of watching her bad… wait, make that the worse dancing EVER! I got ready to go to bed. I walk in to the room to find Amy sleeping peacefully. I turn on the light………. “SPIDER!!!” It was big and black with scary eight legs! I ran down the stairs and yelled for my mom. “COME KILL IT, ITS GOING TO EAT AMY!” My mom came up the to the room and looked for it. I just stood behind her jumping up and down saying “KILL IT, KILL IT, EWWWWWW!” As some of you must now know, Im deathly afraid of spiders. My mom saw it crawl behind the dresser. I screamed! My mom got KILLED it. (Yay mommy!!) She put it in a bib and tried to had it to me. “NO, THAT IS NANSTY. GET IT AWAY FROM ME!” “Just throw it away, its dead.” My mother said almost about to laugh. I took the icky spider and ran back down the stairs and threw it away. I went back upstairs and sat on my bed scared to go to bed. I called Micheil and told him what happened. “A SPIDER TRIED TO EAT AMY.” He just laughed and told me that it would be okay. I didn’t think so… “Its going to come back and hunt me.” Micheil just laughed even more “If anything Patti, Amy will eat the spider.” After about 20 minutes I told him that Im going to try and sleep. I got off the phone and just sat on my bed, looking at the wall where the spider and crawling. 30 minutes went by. I would turn off my light, then turn it back on. It was 1:30am! What I decided to do was play a song from my phone. THANK GOD FOR THAT! I went to sleep and never saw that icky, nasty spider again. 

                                                     THE END. EWWWWWWW!! SPIDER!! “DONT EAT AMY!”

There are times in my life that I’ll sit on my soft, tan couch and think to myself. “In many ways I will still love that man that gave me such a beautiful daughter.” I hate knowing that… I guess in some thoughts maybe thats all I want, to be loved back by him and for him to hold me the way he use to. In my mind that only happens in fairy tails.

A song that I heard on youtube made me think of him. “I remember when we kissed, I can still feel on my lips. The time that you danced with me when no music playing. I remember those simple things, we talked till we cried. The one thing I wish I forget a memory I want to forget….. is goodbye.” (Miley Cyrus- song verse)  

Sometimes I wonder, “Why doesn’t he love me back?” “Why doesn’t he want me in his arms?” “Why does he want her and want nothing to do with me?” “Why did this happen?” “Where did I go wrong?” As those questions run through my head over and over again, I start to cry.

I’ve always wanted to go back and tell him how I feel, but I never got the nerve to do it. The one thing that I would tell him if I could is…… “In many ways I will always still love you.”